I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Congratulations! We have a period
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
