the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
