Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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