you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
