I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize