just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
