Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
