but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
