I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He did a backflip because drugs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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