I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
