Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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