Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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