Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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