Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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