Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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