Already got asked if we're dating
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
