just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
