Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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