at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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