Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
