:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
