why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize