guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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