I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
