i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize