Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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