Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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