loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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