I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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