ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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