I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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