covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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