yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
3 2 1 whiskey
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
