It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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