Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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