your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
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the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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