You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
