Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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