you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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