Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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