I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
