My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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