so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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