this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
