I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
