I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
