I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
