margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
