Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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