Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
