Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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