If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
