A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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