I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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