In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.