im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
