Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars