So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
