No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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